talk more than listenOur Pharisee coaches at the Holy Roller Pharisee Consultancy have given us 6 steps in this journey (see below for links).  Here are two more ways to be holier than thou out of John chapter 9…

[highlight class=”highlight_yellow” style=””]7) Talk more than listen[/highlight]

Our Pharisaical executive coaches now turn to some practical tools for becoming holier than thou. It is crucial that the holier than thou one talks more than they listen. If there is an hour for a discussion, filling 55 minutes with ones own words is a good approach. We might not convince people with our logic, but we can overwhelm them with a flood of words. Unfortunately, like the Pharisees, we may end up asking a question we already had answered, as they ask the man who so recently was blind a question they have already asked him earlier: He answered, “I have told you already and you did not listen.” v27. This awkwardness is averted easily, however, as you can follow the accusation with yet another long-winded speech and you will forget that you weren’t listening in the first place.

[highlight class=”highlight_yellow” style=””]8) Label your enemies[/highlight]

If all else fails in being holier than thou you can simply start to insult people. This feels a bit shameful at first to the person becoming holier than thou, so it is important to show a great deal of righteous indignation. The Pharisees did this: “Then they hurled insults at him” v28. If anyone confronts us about our anger be sure to cite times when God’s anger flared, and draw comparisons to our own anger. The holier than thou person must put people in their place from time to time. Labeling is a good approach for this, as it puts someone in a broad category of people that clearly are wrong. One way to come up with a label is to add “ism” or “ist” to a negative sounding word, and then label the other person with it. For instance, the Pharisees might have called the man born blind a “experientialist” or referred to the “Sabbath miraclisms” of Jesus. Or you can pull out the big guns and call the opponent “liberal” or “fundamentalist” (depending on the crowd you’re trying to sway.) One more thing about labels: they stick. So even later on when the person comes back to confront you, others will remember the label you gave the other person, and discount their ideas. This is an effective way to be holier than thou.

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*Just in case it’s not obvious, this entire piece is satirical and inexcusably sarcastic. But perhaps our Pharisaical ways need a little poking fun at from time to time, eh?

How To Be Holier Than Thou:

1) Major on the minors

2) Be perpetually divided

3) Be skeptical about miracles

4) Encourage a betraying culture

5) Motivate people with fear

6) Cloud things with religiosity

7) Talk more than listen

8) Label your enemies

9) Never question the founder

10) Establish authoritative distance

 

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